The Fear of Change

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, or the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” –Charles Darwin

How much do you fear change?  Are you too afraid of failure, or is it change?

Can you follow that fear? What if “x” happens?  Then what? What if a new “what” or “x” happens?  Then what?

Continue following this pattern working through every “what if” scenario you can come up with.

A person must take a risk, or make a mental change, to overcome a fear.

There is an old saying, “The only thing that likes change is a wet baby.”
Do they really though?  How many babies cry about being changed?  Why would they cry about such a thing? They cry about it, I feel, because they have to be still and they have to change their focus from what they were doing to being in the present moment.  I don’t know about you but I find it hard to slow down, to change my focus or to be still with a big emotion.  I’d like to cry about it to anyone who will listen. I have learned through my years though that this isn’t productive.  It would be hard to keep a support system around for long because they’d get sick of it.

I find it interesting that even though we know a change is better for us, will be good for us (we might already be practicing it and feeling and seeing the results) in a heartbeat we will abandon this change and return to old patterns. We long for the new but are terrified of it.

Sometimes it takes a whisper that knocks us to our knees and if we don’t listen it takes away our legs and if we still don’t listen we start to bleed until we are humbled.  Learn from it and change our patterns, weave a new web (a finer web) of life. We think during this “time of humbling” that our life is over, this “tragedy” will do us in, but as time goes by we realize we are better for it.

We should be allowed to make mistakes, big or small.  This is how we learn. Don’t beat yourself up or judge others that make mistakes because they will do better next time. Our victories in survival create in-depth understanding, compassion and empathy toward ourselves and others.

Love, life, health, experience, learning are on the other side of change. The stinking garbage becomes a nutrient base to grow a rose, a caterpillar becomes a butterfly and a seed becomes a flower. What if a caterpillar was afraid to come out of the cocoon?  We wouldn’t have a butterfly.   What if a seed was afraid to flower?  We’d lose so much of our beautiful world. Every experience is valuable.  What doesn’t kill us makes us better than before.

You are endlessly creative.  Health flows naturally from our creative endeavors. Put yourself out there.  Push through the barrier and become your best self today. Remember the hardest thing sometimes is walking through the door and asking for help. After that, you put one foot in front of the other.  Baby steps add up to something full of change, growth, love, health, etc.

So, I ask one more time and I encourage you to post your answer here: How big is the fear, the risk that you are afraid to take? Don’t be afraid to comment because you’ll be giving others inspiration to have courage too.

How Our Well Being Falls and Why We Should Never Give In

Many health concerns can be avoided!

Many Health concerns can be detected!

Many health concerns can be reversed!

Even Fitness Professionals can stumble badly and recover.

I think this is a good question: How would you know if your health is deteriorating?  To disrespect your body’s needs or worse to neglect your body’s requests because you don’t have time, it’s boring; the arrogance of “I don’t have to.” or “Someday.” is the greatest form of disrespect.  Some of us face an impending demise or disease or injury.  It is still no excuse to just let yourself run on “the autopilot of failing health.”

Really?  If you continue on the course you are on RIGHT NOW! where are you going to be in 10 years? Will it become impossible at that point to remain your best self? Have you lost passion for your own self-care?

Do you think that “quality of life” just comes naturally to you, is your right, so you don’t need to put in any effort? Maybe you think that there is a magic pill out there (or one coming soon) that supplies quality of life, or that a doctor should be able to hand you “good health on a platter” because you deserve it. What about working hard, fighting the odds, believe in your success to good health and partnering with your doctor?  Relationships aren’t one sided.  It takes two to Tango and in this formula, it takes you and your personal health care team.

By team, I mean:

 

• Doctor (GP),
• Fitness professional,
• Dentist
• Doctors (Specialists)
• Nutritionist,
• Body work professional, etc.

 

 

Do you think if I keep doing the same thing that I’ve been doing my health will run on autopilot? Think again.  That is actually Einstein’s definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. You started with this program and saw some results in the beginning but unless you keep renewing it with some creative intensity, you are going to plateau and then digress. Don’t get distracted by extraneous threats, adventures and opportunities.

Make sure that, no matter who you are working with, you understand What you are doing and Why!

You might think: “I’m successful because I exercise 5 times per week.” Not necessarily.

You need to have understanding and insight into why that is.
“I’m successful because I understand why I’m doing yoga 3 times a week, pilates two times a week, cardio four times a week and I am using a personalized eating plan.”
Under what conditions could this no longer work for you?

Yes, the person that I see once, who leaves saying they’ve “Got it.” and all they have to do is hold their belly in or eat more vegetables…..really didn’t get it at all.  You have to constantly be learning about your body and your program.  This is what makes you successful:

• Consistency
• Awareness,
• Learning without judgment, expectations or competition.

Do you have a health care team? Is the team filled with the right people to make you successful in improved quality of life; so that you live with zest? What is your back-up plan in the event that you lose a person on your team? Do you have tools in your tool box and have they taught you self-efficacy so that you can sustain and progress your progress?

We all start out young, thinking our health just “is” no matter what choices we make (or don’t make).   This is usually in the teens and 20’s.  We are undisciplined and pursuing “more of everything.” Then we hit our 30’s.  We are in denial and risk of severe health consequences if we don’t start making better choices concerning our quality of life. We hit our 40’s and we become desperate and grasping for salvation.  What happened?  There should be a joy of being around, being alive, striving for the 20’s vigor for life.  We start asking ourselves questions like, “How did I miss the warning signs?” or looking in the mirror saying “How did I end up looking like this?”  The self-care has been nonexistent for years.

We hit our 50’s and we are facing irrelevance, becoming a burden or death.  You need to remember one word: T-I-M-E.

You can’t change your lifestyle, improve your quality of life, take that trip you dreamed of in your golden years or see that grandbaby’s graduation if you run out of time.

We can save trillions of dollars in health care. We can improve millions of people’s lives if…  If what?

…If we never give in.  Never, never, never, no matter what we are faced with in life.  Never give up your self-care, never give into something big, small, major or petty.  Modify only slightly if an obstacle is placed in your path.  We do this already in everyday life.  If you’re walking and you find a large hole or boulder in your path, you either go through, over or around it.  Never give in to outside forces that challenge or an overwhelming obstacle that has been put in your way.  Never Give In!  You will see darkness on your path, you will suffer a staggering defeat; but to give up on your self-care is entirely out of the question.  Failure to improve your health or to take care of yourself is not so much a physical thing as it is a state of mind.  Success is falling down and getting up one more time and continuing with consistency and without an end in sight.

The Truth About What Motivates us—You May Be Surprised?

This blog is inspired by the book Drive written by Daniel H. Pink, I learned of him during The Global Leadership Summit 2010. I found this book very interesting as he talks about autonomy and motivation. I’m still trying to grasp his theories from a business standpoint to motivate employees.  I follow his concept but am having difficulty with application of it. However, as I read through this book I couldn’t help but put the coloration together on how it related to fitness.  I did understand the application and theory for that because I’ve been teaching and practicing this method since 2007. Frankly, it is the secret to our client’s success!

You see, we start our Fitness Coaching/ Personal Training with Thinking Work.  We talk about the fact that they will fall down at some point during their journey and that at times it stinks, it’s boring, etc. and most importantly we meet our clients “where they are,” allowing them to be in control of their journey, working at a pace that suits them.

Let’s face it; exercise can become really routine and boring.  So we talk about the larger purpose of why we make the lifestyle change and we seek what the true internal motivator really is. We offer a rationale of why the exercise is important to them. We acknowledge that exercise is boring. We allow clients to complete the program with ways that interest them in their own timeline.

Now this doesn’t mean that we allow people to sit and watch TV, wishing for the lifestyle change.  What matters most is consistency, not “race to the finish line, crash and burn.”  Is there a point to running the race if you’re going to crash and burn at the finish?  Don’t even get me started on the brow beating that comes along with the “crashing and burning.”  Brow beating might be the most detrimental part.

Most people are floored when I ask them how starting an exercise program could hurt them.  By “hurt,” I mean their budget, schedule, family time… etc.  Lifestyle change impacts every area of your life, good and bad.

I never agree with financial rewards for accomplishing a plan. For example, “company xyz” will pay each member $100 if they lose weight.  Why?  It is never going to be enough money.  After a while, it won’t work.  More money will be expected.  Money is not a motivator.

I love giving people their lives back. I offer them autonomy. We build a program together that allows clients to do what they want, when they want, how they want it and with whom. I’m lucky that they pick me for “the whom” part because I get to be on their journey as a guide, not a dictator.  When they have these four components (what, when, how, with whom) going in harmony, they emerge as their best self.

Fitness coaching is autonomous! All of our services: Yoga, Pilates, Fitness Coaching, Nutrition workshops… allow you to practice, seeking mastery. It is a practice because you keep at it, you enjoy it, and you move for a greater purpose.  You test your limits by not cheating your body.  We connect you to your intrinsic motivator.  You need to pick modes of activities that keep you striving to improve because over time this gives you energy to keep going.

At Mind Body Balance we don’t have a cookie cutter program.  We do have a system, a system that works.  After sitting and talking to you, we customize the system to your individual needs so that you are successful. We tailor our programs to meet you “where you are” (goals and fitness level).  Together we create visions and goals that have meaning to you, not the trainer. We don’t do short-term goals for extrinsic reasons.  Time and again a person reaches the goal, only to come back later just to have gained back the weight, pain, lowered self-esteem… etc.  We care about our clients and don’t promote this behavior.

Our clients pursue intrinsic goals to improve their quality of life. Yes, it is hard when they are off to a slower start than their friend who is shouting out their “rapid pounds and inches of weight loss” they are experiencing. But that person won’t continue these heroic efforts for long and will be heavier than they’ve ever been in just a short time. Our clients maintain their accomplished goal long term and have significantly better results. I guess you can say they get the last laugh!

Stop doing movement that you hate and start doing movement that you enjoy! We let our clients explore different types of movement to find what best meets their goals and interests. Celebrate the little milestones of your victory. After you’ve accomplished that goal it is okay to treat yourself to a spa service of your choice.

The stick that is used to get you into shape with that carrot dangling in front of it is very passé.  It is time to upgrade your expectations.  Give yourself some self-care and the gift of autonomy, mastery, purpose and self-efficacy.

What you should expect:

• Individualized approach to your program
• The program should match your fitness level and grow with you as you become stronger
• Your program should be efficient, safe, effective to your goal
• You should know the guidelines of your program and why you are doing the things you are doing
• You should be required to provide a health history, Par-Q and a doctors note if you are doing cardio
• You should have felt “heard” and your needs should be met in the program designed for you.  This means it should cover a self-awareness/ discovery piece, physical piece, a nutrition piece, strategy piece to overcome obstacles before they happen, it should build self-efficacy not co-dependence etc.
• You should get some feedback.  This should be a two way conversation